Loneliness at Night
by bloodXblade
Summary: A one-shot fanfic about Kira's loneliness after Ichimaru Gin left with Aizen. This is my first fanfic, critisism grealty appreciated.


Loneliness at Night

_Hello everyone. This is the first fanfiction I've ever written in my entire life. I know that may sound strange, but I just thought that the general public should know this before they read my fanfic just so that you can be prepared if this really sucks. Well, there's my warning. I hope this isn't too bad. _

_Thank you for reading_

The 3rd Division fukutaicho sat in the head office, finishing off the month's paperwork. It was autumn, almost winter, and the temperature had dropped rapidly. Kira Izuru shivered a little and looked over to the amount of paperwork he had left.

It was late in the night and he was down to the final pile. He took the top sheet and scanned over its contents. A shinigami named Kanno Tatsuya had been transferred from the 5th Division as the third seat of 3rd Division. Kira eyed the paper and sighed as he remembered that when he wasn't a seated officer, he used to be in Go-Bantai with Hinamori-san and Abarai-kun. They had been friends since they were at the academy and had ended up in the same division when they recruited. Their common goal was to become fukutaichos and serve under a fine captain, and then maybe they would eventually achieve bankai and become taichos themselves.

Kira had been ecstatic when he got the promotion and transfer to 3rd Division to be Ichimaru Taichou's fukutaicho.

But not too long ago, Ichimaru Taichou had betrayed Soul Society and left with Aizen Tiachou and Tosen Taichou to Heuco Mundo and created an army called the Espada, which consisted of Arrancars wanting to destroy Soul Society and take over the material world. Kira had helped with the betrayal, even though no-one ever mentioned it, nor did anyone accuse him.

Looking back now, as Kira signed the paper, he wondered if he had been a good subordinate. He tailed his captain like a good little puppy and obeyed every order given to him, but there were times when he blundered and not achieved to his superior's expectations. Yet Ichimaru Taichou never minded Kira's incompetence and let him off with just a wide grin and a pat on the head.

He doubted is he'd been a good friend, either. Helping his captain with the betrayal had hurt those who were close to him. Kira had engaged a battle with Matsumoto-san to distract the 10th Division while Aizen Taichou stabbed Hinamori-san in the stomach. Histugaya Taichou got cut and Abarai-kun, as well as Kuchiki-san and Kurosaki-san, got intercepted by Aizen Taichou because Kira had delayed the 10th Division to report the truth.

Yet no-one blamed him. No-one got angry at him for helping Ichimaru Gin and the betrayal. Everyone forgave him before he even apologised. They all continued to smile at him. That made a large claw of guilt gnaw up his spine.

What would you have done if you were in my place? Wondered Kira as he stared down at the profile of Kanno Tatsuya.

A cold wind blew through an open window and Kira looked outside. The sky was unusually clear tonight. The stars glittered and the crescent moon shone brilliantly. There was complete silence. The world around him right now was all so innocent, so sweet, and so unlike the reality of what the future holds. The reality of an upcoming war.

It was then that the San-Bantai Fukutaichou realised how alone he was. The night was empty of sound, except of the sound of Kira's brush across the documents. It was empty of movement, except from his body shifting in his seat as the cold wind blew. In this hollow night, the 3rd Division headquarters was empty of any signs of life apart from him sitting at the desk sorting through paperwork.

The night never felt empty before Ichimaru Taichou left. True, he never did any paperwork, for his handwriting was so messy it was barely legible, but that wasn't his fault, since he used to live in poverty and learning literacy was the least of his worries. Kira, on the other hand, was born into a family of lower nobility and since he was very young, he had embraced the knowledge of the old texts and philosophy. Until his parents died and Kira Izuru embarked on his eventual fate of becoming a shinigami.

So Kira did practically all of the paperwork for the San-Bantai. And Kira, being the pedantic lieutenant that he was, had asked Nemu-san to create a stamp seal for Ichimaru Taichou so that he wouldn't even have to write his signature. Just his words and agreement.

Paperwork was tiring of course, but it was never really that boring for Izuru. Not with Ichimaru Gin around. He always talked about the weirdest things. Even though Kira would sometimes get annoyed, he actually enjoyed the attention his captain gave him, and he loved the slim but solid presence of Gin hanging around the office as he worked.

But the captain wasn't here now. Kira was doing all the paperwork by himself, all alone in the office, without company. And he felt the emptiness in his surroundings. The light reiatsu he had gotten used to being around had disappeared.

There was still half of the pile left to be done. Kira's eyes felt tired. He blinked, sighed, and extinguished all the candles but one, which he carried to his bedside. He decided that he'd finish off the rest of the pile later. Maybe tomorrow night or something.

As he laid down in his futon, Kira felt alone again. Staring the wavering light of the final candle, he thought back how in the past, on a cold night like this, he and Gin would sleep under one futon, sharing their warmth. With the body of his captain right next him, Kira could smell the light fragrance of his fine, silver hair, feel the soft wind of his breath next to his face, and sometimes Ichimaru would stroke Izuru's hair and whisper things in his ear. No-one else knew that they sometimes spent their night together like this. Even though Kira sometimes felt guilty of doing this behind Matsumoto-san's back.

"Taichou, how are you now?" the lonely lieutenant asked out loud.

Utter silence answered him. Kira turned around and closed his eyes.

"Taichou," he murmured before sleep swept over him, "I miss you."

Another cold wind blew through the open window.

The candle flickered and went out.


End file.
